LSCnDBSDATK version 2
by The J.A.M. a.k.a. Numbuh i
Summary: The revised edition of my tangent fanfic from Roy Neal Grissom's Consummation, reformatted and re-edited. Incredible angst with two different endings!
1. Prologue

**PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION**

[…unWARP!]

Good evening.

_This is the 2.0 version of my fanfic "Let's Suppose Chip And Dale Behaved Slightly Differently After The Kidnapping"; extensively edited, reformatted, and digitally re-mastered for easier reading._

_I will note that while Deborah Walley passed away on May 10, 2001, two years after this fanfic was first posted, I decided not to replace her name here with that of April Winchell, whom the CDRR fandom elected as Foxglove's new voice. Foxglove is Deborah's character, and her voice was also part of the inspiration for this fanfic._

_This edition is thusly dedicated to her._

_Enjoy!_

**PREFACE/DISCLAIMER**

First, I do _not_ want _anyone_ to consider me a leech, or someone who's feeding off others' fanfics. I have more than thoroughly spoken with Mr. Grissom about this and he was more than happy to let me do this. While I enjoyed "Consummation" extremely and could not get enough of it, I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that many things in that story could have happened a _lot_ differently if the characters had made just a few slightly different decisions. So, as the ideas ran through my head, I pondered on the possibility of writing _a la_ Marvel Comics' "What If". After considering various scenarios, I chose one that I believed would be just right for a tangent fanfic. Or, more than a tangent, I guess I would call it "a slightly different view", but call it "tangent", or even "satellite story", if you wish. And, while this is not the first fanfic I ever write, it _is_ the first one I post on the Internet. I hope to one day soon get my own PC _[I got one in 1999, a year after I first posted this fanfic]_ and pour out both tangents _and_ J.A.M. originals _[see this server for more of my fanfics!]._

Second, it is not my intention to "out-write" anyone. I will try to keep the style of this narrative similar to the original author's style, and if you happen to like this fanfic better than Mr. Grissom's, let me be the first to say that it is not my fault.

I, for one, don't know the strength of my own talent…

And if you DIDN'T like it, well then, I guess that's good news for Mr. Grissom…

Enough with this already, and let's begin:

* * *

"Who knew slightly different decisions could make such big differences?" — The J.A.M.

Tress MacNeille

Corey Burton

Tress MacNeille

Jim Cummings

Corey Burton

Deborah Walley

in

**LET'S SUPPOSE CHIP AND DALE BEHAVED SLIGHTLY DIFFERENTLY AFTER THE KIDNAPPING**

with

Jim Cummings

Peter Cullen

Corey Burton

and Noelle North

* * *

By The J.A.M. (but please call me J.A.M.)

Based on "CONSUMMATION" by Roy Neal Grissom

First edition edited by John Nowak

WARNING: This fanfic will _not_ make any sense at all if you don't read "Consummation" first. It _should_ be available on this server.

…_with my apologies to Mr. Grissom…_

_For Deborah Walley_

I would probably rate this PG-13.


	2. A Moment of Advice

**A MOMENT OF ADVICE**

[Let's pick it up from…]

_During this time Foxy had recourse to Gadget's sage advice on many occasions, but Gadget's advice to her was of no help in getting Dale to pop the long-awaited question. Still, though, Gadget always assured her that Dale did indeed love her and she need only be patient._

[Okay, then, let's just see one of these occasions:]

Foxglove entered Gadget's room, and to the batmaid's surprise and relief, she was still awake, sitting on her bed and reading one of her tremendously technical manuals, _again_.

The Inventor looked up and greeted her with a smile, "Oh, hello, Foxy. How was the movie?"

"Oh, it was fine, I guess…" the batmaid's soft voice trailed off with mild frustration.

"A real bomb, right?" asked the mousemaid, noticing the frustration.

"Uh, well, no!" replied Foxglove suddenly, trying to jolt her mind back to here and now. "Actually, it seemed pretty interesting…"

Gadget put her book down, stood, and padded over to her roommate. Looking into her eyes, she calmly asked, "Foxy, what was the title of the movie?"

Somewhat surprised at this more-than-obvious question, Foxglove was about to reply, but then she realised that her mind was totally blank concerning that. Trying to blink her memory back on line, she ransacked her brain in search for an answer, "Uh…uh…it was a…monster movie, again, I know that. It was called…it was called…"

No use; she had been too busy noticing something _else_ to notice the title of the flick.

Gadget, unfazed, insisted with something easier, "What was the movie about? Godzilla, again?"

Foxy thought for _sure_ she had the answer to this one, since she _knew_ Godzilla was _not_ in the movie, but as she tried to recall the plot, she was lost once more. Covering her head with her wings, she trembled momentarily.

An uncomfortable query crossed Gadget's mind, though she already knew what the answer was. "Dale _did_ see the movie, I suppose?"

Foxglove sagged. She shuffled sadly to the bed and slumped to a sitting position on it. "Yes, he saw every second of it. _And_ he enjoyed it completely. _And_ he even yelled on the scary parts, even though that was the _eleventh time_ he sees that movie!" Covering her head again, Foxglove wondered if crying would even help at his point.

Gadget sat next to her, put her paw on her shoulder, and was about to—

"You know," sobbed the bat, suddenly straightening up and startling the mousemaid, "Dale has a one-track mind. And I love him for that, too. Once he sets out to do something, he does it, and nothing else. I mean, if he asks me out on a date to see a movie at the drive-in, I am more than happy to go with him. And that is exactly what he does: _See the movie!" _Clearly frustrated now, with a touch of anger, Foxglove balled her wings in front of her.

It was not the first time this had happened, but Gadget could see that Foxglove was getting more than slightly annoyed every time it did.

The batmaid turned to her roommate and continued, "He _really_ likes monster movies. I mean, why should he think _I_ don't? After all, he _does_ invite me to see them with him, especially the premieres, and I happily go along. Why should he think I have something _else_ in mind when I make us sit _WAY_ in the back? And echosounding him throughout the whole show, that is really something. You know, Gadget, you really should invent a sonar machine to echosound him yourself. I think only then will you be able to see what you missed. You really blew it by not choosing him. And…he also enjoys his junk food, too. He loads himself up just before the movie starts, and again in the intermission. And he shares his food with me. _That's very romantic, don't you think?"_ Gadget was about to console her, but Foxglove suddenly continued, "And what is even _more_ romantic is the fact that when he gets scared, he jumps and puts his arms around me! You can't get much more romantic than that, can you?" Breathing quite audibly now, Foxglove waited for Gadget's usual reply.

The mousemaid began, "Foxy, you know that doesn't always happen. After all, if Dale _really_ enjoys his movies, you must be very special to him if he wants you to see them too, _with_ him. I guess he also respects you very very much, if he doesn't do anything else except watch the movie, despite the temptation you set up for him every time."

Foxglove pondered on that point for a moment, and replied, "I don't understand: I love him, he loves me, we love each other, we practically _live_ with each other, for crying out loud, and he just doesn't seem to get the hint! He respects me, I know—he's a REAL, wonderful, caring, loving, HANDSOME, [gritting her teeth] RESPECTING gentlemunk—and…I love him for that, too, and…_I_ respect him, too, really, but it just seems that he is perfectly happy and satisfied with the way things are right now and doesn't want anything more. Sure, we kiss, but I wouldn't mind him stealing a kiss from me once in a while. It's almost as if…as if he has finally put me in a little corner of his life, along with his love of movies, comic books, TV…as if _I_ don't rank beyond those…those…_THINGS!"_

The batmaid cried openly at this point, so Gadget calmly put both paws on her trembling shoulders. "You know that's not true, Foxglove! He loves you very much, even more than those…_things_. He wouldn't enjoy them without you, not in the least. And you've _had_ romantic dates, too, remember? _Without_ movies, comics, or TV."

"Those don't happen very often, you know," she replied, getting just a trifle more upset. "And I want _more_ of that, _more_ of when he holds me in his arms and looks into my eyes, and I feel his heart fluttering against my fur and not just hear it, when I echosound him to his face and hear his face…have you ever _heard_ someone's face in your face, Gadget? That's really something you should do with Chip—"

"Foxy!" cried the mouse, blushing intensely at the suggestion, and unsure whether she _should_ build a sonar machine at this point.

"Sorry. And he doesn't resist me anymore, I know, but I _do_ wish that he'd take the lead more often. And I also wish _those_ dates would never end, too. I know he loves me more than anything, Gadget, and I _know_ he's romantic, but right now it looks like that is _all_ our relationship will ever amount to: Romantic Dates, one lived happily, the other in frustration, ever after, the end." The batmaid wrapped her head with her huge wings and shook the bed with her inconsolable sobbing.

Gadget, meanwhile, sighed with frustration herself as she gathered her thoughts for a few minutes, allowing Foxglove to continue purging her eyes.

After the sobbing had ebbed for a moment, the mousemaid explained, "Foxy, remember how difficult it was for Dale to admit his feelings for you. Just imagine how difficult a time he must be having right now, to admit he, too, wants more. And do you think it's easy for him to hold himself back simply out of respect for you? He's a _male_ _chipmunk_, Foxy, and it _is_ spring, you know."

And it was, too. Springtime was precisely the time of the year when Chip and Dale seemed more insistent on getting romantic with Gadget, before Foxglove showed up, that is.

"I mean, if it was difficult for him to behave himself when he was in love with _me_—"

The batmaid suddenly looked up at the mousemaid's eyes, clearly communicating that she did _not_ want to hear this part of Dale's life.

Now or _ever_.

"Sorry, Foxy," blurted the inventor, trying to recover from her slip. "But please understand what _he's _feeling right now, and the instincts he's fighting against at this time of year. I'm sure he wants more out of your relationship, too, but he _could_ be afraid of messing up. In the meantime, he needs _you_, Foxy. He can't live without you."

Foxglove looked into the distance, as if she were staring at Dale in the living room through the wall. "Do you think he loves me enough to marry me, or just enough to have me as his girlfriend?"

Yikes.

That was a tough one for Gadget, but she quickly replied, "I've never seen anyone fall in love as suddenly as he did with you. He wants you badly, but I guess he thinks he's not ready, or he's afraid of how you'll react."

The batmaid covered her head again. "Oh, why can't _I_ be the one who has to ask the question?"

"He needs a little more time, Foxy. Just wait, and I'm sure he'll pop the question when you least expect it."

Foxglove turned to her roommate again and smiled, "You're…you're right. Thanks, Gadget. I guess I feel a _little_ better."

The rodent smiled, "I'm always here for you, Foxy."

The chiropterid stood, dried her eyes, and stretched, "Well, I guess I should let you go to sleep then. I think I heard a few moths outside. Yummy!"

Foxglove opened the door and was about to leave when Gadget asked, "Did Dale land the Ranger Plane where I told him to? I don't want it to get in the way of the other vehicles again—"

"It's parked just fine, Gadget," she interrupted. "He's not exactly a slob anymore, you know." With a sly grin, Foxglove shut the door and left.

Gadget felt just a trifle guilty for asking that last question. After all, Dale _had_ changed a lot since last June, and he was a lot more responsible with the vehicles. Still, sometimes he _did_ park the planes right in the middle of the hangar, blocking the exit for the other vehicles, a big no-no in case of an emergency. Nevertheless, that did not happen often now, and all the Rangers were glad because of that. So, exhausted after yet _another_ emotional bout with Foxglove, Gadget put on her nightgown and went to bed.


	3. Another Moment of Advice

**ANOTHER MOMENT OF ADVICE**

[We then move on to:]

_Meanwhile Chip, Zipper, and Monterey were doing their best to talk Dale into being confident enough to make the proposal._

[Okay, then:]

Foxglove entered the living room and saw the boys watching TV. Still keeping that sly grin, she padded behind the couch, and kissed Dale on his head.

Surprised, and feeling more than slightly self-conscious, Dale whirled and gasped, but calmed down when he saw Foxglove's soft and beautiful sapphire eyes.

"I'm glad you enjoyed your movie," she said, with just a slight hint of sadness. "I'll see you tomorrow, Cute Stuff." With that, the bat padded out the door, took off, and began feeding.

Smiling happily to himself, Dale settled down and continued watching the late news with the others.

The others, unfortunately, had noticed something wrong with their chiropterid friend.

"Um…Dale…tell me, how was your date?" asked Chip, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"Oh, it was wonderful!" blurted his happy-go-lucky best friend. "We went to see _Attack Of The Giant Newts IX_! It's about a bunch of mutant newts that attack Rio and start eatin' everythin'—"

"Uh…pally…'ow did Foxglove take it?" asked Monterey, also eyeing his friend with worry.

"Foxy? Well, she loved it, of course! She just sat back and enjoyed the whole thing. Never said a word, except a scream or two on the scary parts. Ah, I love that bat," he smiled dreamily.

"Have you _told_ her that?" buzzed Zipper, crossing his arms and eyeing the red-nosed chipmunk with a bit of frustration.

"Told her what? That I love her? Um…well…no…" he stammered a bit, "…I mean…she already knows that, right? But she _did_ say she had a good time with me. You know, guys, maybe we could _all_ go watch it next time—"

"Dale," said Chip, breathing slowly. "Have you noticed something…_amiss_…about Foxy lately?"

"'Noticed'? 'Amiss'? What, you mean somethin' 'odd' or 'wrong' or somethin' like that? Because I sure haven't, and nothin' seems to be wrong—"

"Well, take just now," explained the Detective. "Didn't she look just the tiniest bit…_sad_…to you?"

"Sad?" asked his friend, with genuine surprise. He thought for a moment, "Well…now that you mention it…no, not at all. After all, why would she be sad? We had a great time, I tell you! And just so you know, I think she is finally startin' to calm down around me. She didn't make a single pass at me tonight! Or…not any that I noticed, anyway," he pondered a bit, just to make sure.

Chip seethed for a minute, breathing even _more_ slowly and rubbing his eyes, trying to figure out the best way to break this to him. "Dale," he began, "is tonight the first time she has _really_ been on her best behaviour?"

Dale stared at his best friend, for a moment unsure of what he was getting at, but then he blurted angrily, "Hey! What do you mean 'best behaviour', Chip? She's not a delin—a delinq—a _criminal_ anymore!"

Chip raised his paws and quickly rephrased himself, "No, no! What I meant was: was tonight the first night she didn't make a pass at you at all?"

After pondering for a moment again, Dale replied, "Well, now that I think about it, she's only calm when we're at the drive-in. Zowie, ironic, isn't it? Naturally, there _are_ those dates in the park…" Dale got a dreamy and blissful look on his face when he remembered all the romantic times he had with his girlfriend under the trees, and at the edge of the fountain.

Flustered by the fact that Dale just couldn't get it, Chip blurted, "Dale, I think Foxy wants more out of you than just dates and insipid movies and comic books!"

Jolted out of his romantic memories by that outburst, Dale chattered, "Hey! What do you mean by ins—insi—what you said? That movie just _happened_ to be a classic, you know!" He crossed his arms to emphasise. "And I'll have you know that she _loves_ my comics, too! She _knows_ they may be priceless someday. And why would she want more? More what? What else can I _possibly_ give her?" he asked, truly in the dark concerning what Chip was questioning. "I mean, I love her, she loves me, we love each other, we see each other every day, we work together, we solve cases together with you guys, we beat the bad guys together with you guys, hey, we practically _live_ together, for cryin' out loud! What more could she _possibly_ want?"

Suddenly getting a flashback of a particular commercial, Dale jingled, _"Who could ask for anything more? Toyo—!"_

[Bonk!]

Dale rubbed his head at this point.

"That's just it, Dale," grumbled Chip, ignoring that last commercial by keeping his right paw fisted. "You _practically_ live together. But…" he trembled a bit, knowing there was no other way of phrasing this, "…have you noticed that right now you two sleep in separate bedrooms?"

Dale looked at best friend for a few seconds, trying to figure out what he meant by that. Upon realising what he _did _mean—

[BONK!]

Chip rubbed _his_ head now, much more than Dale had done a few seconds ago.

"Of _course_, stupid!" growled Dale. "What kind of guy do you think I am?"

Monterey stepped in before Chip could say anything else, trying to save him from another bonk, "Uh, let me put it this way, pally: 'ow close are you an' Foxy right now?"

Dale smiled, "Oh, we're close. Very close. We're like this:" he showed two digits together for all present to see.

The mouse sighed, "Uhm…let me ask this another way, Dale: 'ow close 'ave you two…er…_gotten_ lately?"

Dale thought for a moment, and that dreamy and blissful look crept onto his face again. "Ahhh…I don't know which is better: me kissin' her, her kissin' me, or we kissin' each other…"

Monterey shifted, obviously uncomfortable because he had to broach this subject. Still, he had to make Dale see the light. Rubbing his fingers, he sighed, "Er…pally…when you do that…do you…ever feel like…gettin'…um…_closer_?"

Dale looked at Monty, pondering the question and looking at him the same way he looked at Chip a moment ago.

[BONK!]

Standing, Dale flattened his ears and huffed with rodent anger, "Again with the dirty questions?"

Monterey rubbed his head and fixed his skewed leather cap. Annoyed, but concerned about Dale, he frowned at him and insisted, "_'Ave_ you?"

Dale was more than annoyed with this interrogation, but the more-than-serious look on Monterey's face calmed him down. Thinking for a moment, he lowered his paws and quietly replied, "Uh…well…sometimes…"

"_Just_ sometimes?" Chip insisted.

Dale, now more uncomfortable than annoyed, stammered, "Well…uh…sure…it…it _has_ crossed my mind, you know. I mean, that…that _happens_, doesn't it? It…it's a _guy_ thing, right? I mean, it's not as if _you guys_ never thought about it, right? And…and…I…I _have_ felt it…but…hey, who hasn't? It…it _has_ crossed my mind lately…sometimes…I suppose…"

His friends' insisting stares made Dale even more nervous.

"Okay, so it's kinda-sorta been happenin' often!" he yammered. "But hey," here he stood straight, raised his ears, crossed his arms, and calmly declared, "I love Foxy, and I respect her. And I would _never_ do anythin' to hurt her, no sirree! And just so you know: when it _does_ cross my mind, I immediately back down and throw it out of my head! I…I guess it's been happenin' more often now because it's spring, but I _should_ calm down by June. Or, at least, that's what I thought last October—"

"Look, mate, it's great that you respect 'er, but you _do_ know you've been wantin' to get closer. An' by the looks of it, I think Foxy wants to get closer to you, too."

"She does? Well, I'm glad she has plenty of self-control, too, then! Or what kind of girl do you think she is anyway, huh?"

Monterey rubbed one paw down his face, and _calmly_ continued, "We _know_ she's one well-bred lass, Dale, but what we're tryin' to tell you is that she wants the both of you to get closer: _legit_ style."

"'Legit'? Ha! The only way _that_ could ever happen is if we get—"

Here, Dale was robbed of all manner of speech as his brain tumbled to a complete stop. His jaw sagged and his eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.

The others sighed with relief when Dale finally saw the light. Dale could be so simple-minded sometimes!

"She wants to get closer to you, mate, _legit_," repeated Monty. "After all, you _really_ didn't expect 'er to be just yore girlfriend for the rest of 'er life, now did you?"

Dale, with great difficulty, uncrossed his arms and tried to make his right paw find his head.

"Who could ask for anything _more_?" jingled Zipper, laughing at his friend's reaction.

Dale, meanwhile, felt as if the whole world had decided to lean on his back. Breathing with difficulty, as if he had forgotten how to do so, he staggered a bit, trying to calculate a trajectory to the nearest cushion before his legs shut down.

Chip immediately stood and helped his friend sit again; however, it was at this point that his chest began burning:

He had just helped convince his best friend that his girlfriend wanted to be _more_ than just his girlfriend!

Still, there was no turning back now.

It was all up to Dale now.

Dale's powers of locution returned, but not with complete coherence just yet, "She wants…she wants…with me…only…_me_…" He was sweating profusely at this point, and by his manner of breathing, he appeared to have just run the Boston Marathon.

Chip spoke, "Look, Dale, we're sorry we had to break it to you this way. But Foxy needs you, and she needs you _badly_. You don't have to decide this right now; but you _will_ have to think about this _very_ thoroughly. Of course, if you need help, well, we're here for you, pal. And…and…whatever you decide…whatever _you two_ decide," he sighed, "I…we will back you up. You have changed a lot since she came back, Dale, and though it's been sorta eating at me, I see that it's all for the best of us…" For some reason, a knot began forming in Chip's throat. "For the best…between us."

Dale looked at his lifelong friend, and by default, "big brother". He was hurting, for some reason, from the look in his eyes. Calming down, finally, Dale replied, "Oh, okay, Chip. I…I understand…I…think…I…think…no, I _don't_ think…I want…I mean…I _do_ want…but…_can_ I…I mean, I _can_, but…am I…am I…r-red—"

"Nobody's ever _totally_ ready for that, pally," said Monterey. "But if you _really_ know yo're not, it's okay. Just be sure to tell Foxy that."

"Uh…M…Monty…could you please…not use…the word…'mate'…right now?"

The mouse smiled and chuckled, "Sorry, _mate_, won't do it again." Looking over at Chip, he saw that the Detective was getting worried, and pained, about this. "Ah, don't worry, lad. Seen it a million times. 'Ey, this is _nothin'_ compared to what I went through afore I proposed to Desirée."

"B-but…you did…but you never—"

"I know, Dale, but I doubt yore chocolate problem will get in the way of you and Foxy. Think long an' 'ard about this, mate, but just don't take _too_ long. I doubt she wants to waste any more time than what she already 'as."

"Uh, thanks, Monty, and thanks…Chop…er…Chip. I _really_ have to figure this out, somehow. But first, could one of you guys remind me where my bed is supposed to be?"

* * *

Dale's jingle can be found here: w w w (dot) y o u t u b e (dot) c o m (slash) watch?v=q_3PaI53KlY


	4. Soul Searching

**SOUL SEARCHING**

A few nights later…

Dale padded down the hall, heading for Gadget's room, but just before he could step up and knock, the door flew open and Foxglove ran out, greeting him with a very tight hug and a _very_ interesting kiss. Shocked for one millisecond, Dale wrapped his arms around her wings and returned the kiss.

Parting 19 seconds later, Foxglove asked, "Miss me, Darling? I could tell it was you coming just now. I just _love_ the way your footpads sound when they bounce off the wood."

Slightly embarrassed, he replied, "Uh, thanks, Foxy. I guess I'll never be able to sneak up on you like that. But you _do_ have to stop doin' that."

"Why, are you getting tired of it, Cute Stuff?" she asked, fluttering at him.

"Uh, no, I kinda like it, but…oh…never mind. You can sneak up on me as long as you want. Just be sure I'm not carryin' explosives or anythin' fragile when you do that," he smiled.

Foxglove chuckled at his advice and scratched the top of Dale's head with her wingtips, making him giggle softly. She replied, "You know I always echosound you before I come up to you, dear. And you know that I _like_ what I hear."

Blushing more than evidently _again_ from her compliment, Dale tried to free himself from her wings, but Foxglove tightened her grip.

"What, Dale? Am I making you uncomfortable? I _was_ going to feed tonight again, but perhaps you would like _another_ walk in the park?"

Dale looked at her royal blue eyes and nearly fell into them. She was truly the most beautiful chiropterid he had ever come across. And the fact that her heart was his alone was more than mind blowing. Yes, he wanted more, he knew that, but he had to do something first. "Uh, not tonight, Foxy, I have a headache…I mean…no! I _don't_ have a headache! I mean…I would love to go out tonight, but, I have to do…somethin'…and I need to ask Gadget somethin'. She isn't asleep, is she?"

Sagging slightly with disappointment, Foxglove replied, "No, she's still awake." She then released him, and continued on her way.

Noticing her sad reaction, Dale quickly added, "But be sure to prepare for _tomorrow night_."

Turning as her face lit up, she giggled in response, "'Why, Dale, what are we gonna do _tomorrow night_?'"

"The same thing we do _every_ night, Foxy:"

Together they chanted, "Try to take over the world!"

And as was expected, they jingled together, _"They're Foxy, they're Foxy and the Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale!"_

They laughed for a moment, and Foxglove said, "Well, then, good night, Cute Stuff."

She turned to leave again when Dale stated, very seriously this time, "Good night, Foxy. I love you with all my heart. Please don't ever forget that."

Foxglove stopped and turned again. Echosounding him with slight confusion, she replied, "Dale, it's impossible for me to forget that you love me. You know that."

"Yes, I know…I…know." Dale slowly turned and stared at the floor.

Hearing that, Foxy turned and left, and as she did, she thought, _He loves me more than anything, but he's **never** going to propose! Never!_

With tears in her eyes, she flew away and began to feed.

Dale, meanwhile, knocked on the bedroom door, and Gadget opened.

From the way she was blushing, her large rodentian ears had obviously picked up a significant part of the previous conversation. "Y-yes, Dale?" she asked, trying to calm down.

"Uh, Gadget, could I use your workshop tonight? I won't use any of your tools or blueprints or anythin', just your worktable, and your pencil."

"Golly, Dale, you can, but if you just need a place to write on, why don't you use the living room or kitchen table?"

The chipmunk sighed, "Well, I need to figure out a few things, and I figure, since _you_ figure out a lot of stuff in your workshop, I thought maybe I'll be able to figure this out better over there."

A very unusual request; Dale was most certainly _not_ mechanically inclined, so just _what_ did he need to figure out? "Do you want me to help you, Dale? I'm really good at figuring things out—"

"Uh—no!" he blurted. "I…kinda…need to do this myself."

Reading the look on his face, the mousemaid insisted, "How about Chip or Monterey? Do you think you'll need their help?"

The male sighed and replied, "I probably will, but…I need to do as much of this by myself as I can."

Gadget deduced that Dale had obviously been hit with a major equation, one that involved the _heart_ constant.

"Please? I promise I won't break anythin'. Not even the paper."

She eyed him with sympathy and replied, "All right, Dale. Just be careful with my stuff, and…be careful with…your stuff. And I know you have a lot of questions right now, Dale, so if you really need help with this, I am right next door, and the guys are down the hall."

"Thanks, Gadget. I'll try not to stay up all night. Good night." Dale turned and left for her workshop.

_You **can** figure it out, Dale_, she thought. _Do it for Foxy, and yourself._

A minute later, Dale was sitting at Gadget's worktable, with the only light coming from a decorative bulb above it. The rodent stared hard at the large white sheet in front of him, in search of answers, but his mind was as blank as the paper was.

_ It must be some cosmic joke that today is April Fool's Day,_ he thought. _And nobody noticed it but me. I wonder if they actually miss my practical jokes. But to think that this just **happens** to be the day I have to sort out how I **really** feel about Foxy! But if I don't do this, I **could** lose her…oh stop it, Dale, don't think that way._

_ Okay, first thing's first:_

He then scribbled his thoughts on the paper with a pencil that had been sharpened down to a stump, so as to fit in rodent paws.

_I love Foxy, she loves me, and she wants to marry me._

_ Why?_

_ Because she wants more._

_ She wants to have my cubs, for crying out loud!_

_ And with me, only me, for the rest of our lives._

_ Does she think she's ready?_

_ I don't know._

_ Do I want more?_

_ Well…um…yes._

_ But do I want to marry her?_

His mind went blank again, as he honestly could not answer his own question. He rephrased himself:

_Do I really want her to have my cubs?_

_ Am I ready for cubs?_

_ Am I ready to take care of her and protect her no matter what, for the rest of my life?_

_ Can I protect her?_

_ Can I raise our cubs?_

This line of questioning wasn't getting him anywhere, so he tried another approach:

_What does Foxy see in me?_

_ She says I'm cute._

_ Handsome_

_ Strong_

_ Funny_

_ Smart_

_ I hate the bad guys_

_ I have one heck of an echolocation profile._

_ Hmm, I wish I could echosound her, just once…  
_

Dale suddenly shook his head, forcing his mind back on what was important right now.

_And what do I see in Foxy?_

_ She has beautiful eyes._

_ A great body_

_ Silky fur_

_ A lovely voice_

_ She's learned new languages_

_ She also fights the bad guys…good thing, too…_

_ She can see things we can't._

_ She's sweet._

_ She's helpful._

_ She's funny, too._

_ She loves my movies and comics…_

_ Zowie, we're a perfect match! So…_

His mind trailed off again, this time due to uncertainty.

_Why can't I bring myself to propose to her? Chip would do it with Gadget in an instant!_

_ Why?_

_ Why?  
_

His mind drifted back to his early time with the Rangers, although his memories at this point, for some reason, were _not_ pleasant ones. They were of practically every single case he screwed up, of when he deserted the others back in Paris and nearly killed them with his RamDale personality, of when he cracked under pressure inside that boot:

"I'm thinking…I'm thinking! Just…give me a minute…I can do this! I can think…I can think…_I CAN'T THINK!_ Aaahhh, help me Chip! I'm no leader! I can't get us out of here! _HEEEEEEEEELLLLP!"_

Of _every_ time Chip bonked him because he said or did something stupid—

**_Stupid_**

_But Foxy doesn't think I'm stupid!_

_ And Chip told me I have been changing._

_ But…is RamDale gone?_

_ Do I still screw up?_

_ Why would Chip do it in an instant but not me?_

"Who says I would?"

Dale nearly fell off his chair when he heard Chip behind him. Whirling to face him, he chattered, "When the heck did _you_ get in here? And how did you know what I was thinkin'?"

"Well, I got here from 'echolocation profile'. And you mumble quite clearly, though your pawriting leaves a lot to be desired." Chip looked at the undecipherable scribbles on the paper. "I know I always seem confident of myself, but I probably would be going through the same thing you are if I had to propose to Gadget." He sighed, "You don't know how much I envy you, Dale. You have the love of your life, and she wants you…she wants to be with you…forever."

"I know. I want Forever with her too, but…I don't know if I'm ready for Forever."

Chip thought for a moment, and asked, "Dale, what is it that you need to get ready?"

The confused chipmunk thought for a minute, and replied sadly, "I don't know. I guess that's what I'm tryin' to figure out here. I mean, if we're perfect for each other, then why can't I bring myself to ask her? Why am I so afraid? What am I afraid of?"

"Well, let me see, do you think she's going to say no?"

"No."

"Then, if you know she won't reject you, the problem is with you, I guess."

_"And I can't figure out what it is,"_ growled Dale, with his paws shaking. "Wait…you said you would have the same problem with Gadget. Why is that?"

"I guess because I would be scared of the decision itself, and the commitment it brings. It _is_ forever, you know."

"But how would _you_ know if _you're_ ready?" Dale was grasping at straws now.

Chip sighed again, "I guess it's just something I would know when it happened. But back to you, Dale, you're not stupid. You just…say stupid things once in a while. And I doubt RamDale will come back, seeing he was just temporarily programmed in your head. And while you _do_ tend to get distracted now and then, you're smart…in your particularly goofy way. You still screw up, yes, but no more than the rest of us now. As for your randomness, well, that drives the bad guys crazy every time. I'm sure that your kids—" The knot and the burning were there again, "—that someday your cubs will be glad they have a dad like you. And you _have_ gotten more serious lately, Dale, and I don't know if I should be happy or sad because of that. You were…you _are_ a fun guy to be with…"

Chip could say no more at this point. He turned and headed for the door, trying to keep his emotions in check. Before he left, he stopped and said, "You're the best thing that happened to…to all of us, Dale, and the most excellent thing that happened to Foxy. And only _you_ can make it into something even _more_ wonderful."

Chip then left Dale alone again.

For some reason, Dale felt even more confused than ever. He continued scribbling:

_I've gotten serious?_

_ Zowie, I never noticed that!_

_ I always thought I was the clown of this gang_…

The clown

Goofy

Distracted

Randomness

TV

Movies

Comic Books—

_Ohhhh! Now I get it!_

_ If you really think about it, inside, I'm still a cub myself!_

_ No wonder I don't feel ready! I'm supposed to be all grown up about this!_

_ But still, if I am getting serious, then…then that's a good thing!_

_ So all I need to do is wait until Chip says I no longer act like a clown and then I'll pop her the question!_

"I don't think she can wait that long, mate."

This time, Dale _did_ fall out of his chair at the sound of Monterey's deep voice. The mouse and Zipper thus helped him up.

"Let me guess: you came in right after 'serious', right?" he asked, sitting at the table again.

"Too roight, pally! Chippah 'ere told us it was our turn to 'elp you with yore problem."

Dale adjusted his seat, "Uh, thanks, Monty, but I think I already figured out the answer—"

"No, you 'aven't, lad! You can't change who you really are inside. I know that I once called you our 'comic relief', an' I'm moighty sorry I did so. But don't go callin' yoreself a clown. Yo're more than a clown. Yo're a top-notch comedian/detective/Rescue Ranger/Romeo/entertainment expert! Per'aps yo're focusin' now on the detective part, but please don't get rid of the comedian part. Foxy loves every single one of those things, an' you'd not only be killin' a part of yoreself, but a part of _'erself_ too."

Zipper buzzed, "You're just nervous about the whole thing. Just ask her!"

"Oh yeah? Well, Mister I'm-All-Calm-And-Cool, I'd like to see you do the same with Queenie!"

Zipper blushed for a moment at that suggestion, but Monterey continued, "Look, Dale, I told you I went through the same thing with Desirée. As tough as I look, I was as weak as curds when it came to askin' 'er. I was prob'ly even _more_ scared than you are now. But I gathered my nerve, set up a romantic atmosphere, an' asked 'er. Things didn't work out, yeah, but that's beside the point. It's difficult, but I know you can do it."

Dale pondered some more. It all added up, so it seemed. "You…you're right, Monty. I guess I _am_ terrified, but if you think about it, Foxy might be too. So…yes…I will gather up the nerve, and then I will ask her."

"That's me pally! 'Ey, do you want me to 'elp you set it up? I could cook a moighty romantic dinner for you two."

Dale, surprised at the sudden way things suddenly cleared inside his head, replied. "Uh…well, sure! But…wait 'till I ask you to. I'm gonna need some time to gather the nerve, and I'm gonna need all the nerve I can get. And when you make our dinner, _try_ to go light on the cheese, will ya?"

"I will. C'mon, Zip, looks like our job 'ere is done." Thus, Monterey and Zipper left Dale alone.

Dale, meanwhile, pondered on his scribbling so much that he did not hear the high five just outside.

It all added up.

It was here and now, and nothing could be more perfect for him and Foxglove.

It was _so_ perfect.

And Dale had never felt more terrified in his life because of that.


	5. A Taste of Things to Come

**A TASTE OF THINGS TO COME**

_…But Dale had also made up his mind to break his silence and get the suspense over with…_

[And he did. But now let's move to the opening scene:]

_Night had fallen in the park, and the Rescue Rangers, who had just wrapped up a tough case, were preparing for a well earned leisurely supper. The chipmunks, Gadget, and Zipper had agreed among themselves to set to work at once in the kitchen before Monterey Jack could protest, so that they could have something besides cheese. It was while they were all busy preparing dishes and shouting among themselves in the kitchen (so as not to have to argue with Monty) that Foxglove, who had just awakened from a long day's sleep, stumbled yawning into the room and accidentally bumped into Dale. The two started, eyed each other with alarm, and hastily exited, each by a different way._

[Let's make that just a trifle humorous:]

It was while they were all busy preparing dishes and shouting among themselves in the kitchen (so as not to have to argue with Monty) that Foxglove, who had just awakened from a long day's sleep, stumbled yawning into the room and accidentally bumped into Dale.

_Lips first_.

And since both had their mouths open at this point, Foxglove from yawning and Dale from saying, "Well, I—"…

It was so sudden, so unexpected, so natural, so loving, so passionate, so automatic, so _right_, that neither of them was 100 percent conscious of what they were doing. With all manner of logical thinking suddenly shut down, they instantly and instinctively locked out their audience and surroundings and began embracing. It was not until they heard four collective gasps and a metal pot clanging on the floor that they broke with a start. They eyed each other with alarm and hastily exited, each by a different way.

Monterey picked up the pot he had deliberately dropped and commented, "Couldn't 'ave 'appened to a nicer couple, mates."


	6. Prenuptial Disaster

**PRENUPTIAL DISASTER**

[And now, on to our feature presentation:]

_Just then the crowd heard the sound of a motor and propellers above them, and they all instinctively moved aside so that the Ranger Wing could land, with Gadget at the controls. The Rangers and their friends were very glad to see her, with the possible exception of Tammy. But what really surprised those who knew her was that she was wearing a DRESS!_

"Hi, guys!" It was her usual greeting and quite fitting for the occasion, they all thought. She was introduced to Phinehas and Otis, was overjoyed to find Midge there, and made it a special point to speak to Tammy and her family. After she had made the rounds, so to speak, four more animals stepped up from the crowd.

"Dale!"

"Chip!"

Both chipmunks turned and gasped with delight and joy when they saw—

"Mom! Dad!" they both exclaimed, running to embrace their parents.

"Oh, Dale, we're so happy for you!" cried his mother.

"Chip, son, I'm so glad to see you again! You don't know how worried your mother and I have been ever since you took this line of work!"

"Well, 'it's a dirty job…' and you know the rest, dad."

They then turned to the other Rangers to make the introductions.

Dale began, "Guys, this is my father, Pierre, and my mother, Dalee."

Pierre, a tough-looking chipmunk, had a black nose and slightly crooked incisors, with a hint of silver in his fur. Dalee's incisors were straight, but her nose was reddish-pink, and her fur was Dale's exact shade.

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Oakmont," said Monterey, shaking paws.

"No need to be so formal," said Pierre. "Any friend of Dale is a friend of ours. You must be Monterey Jack, and Zipper, I believe."

Chip continued, "And this is my dad, Chap, and my mom, Nikoma."

Chap was practically a carbon copy of Chip, just more silvery and wrinkled around the eyes. Nikoma was more gray than brown, and had green eyes.

Both sets of parents were also dressed formally for the occasion: tuxedos for the males, and long white dresses for the females.

"Mr. and Mrs. Maplewood, I'm so glad to finally meet you!" said Gadget, shaking their paws.

"Ah, the lovely Gadget Hackwrench, I presume!" smiled Nikoma at the mousemaid. "Hey, son, you were right! She really _is_ an _interesting_ item!"

"Mother…" grumbled Chip with clenched teeth. Both he and Gadget blushed more than noticeably.

"Uncle Phinehas! I'm surprised you made it on time!" exclaimed Chap when he saw the minister.

"Ah, put a sock in it, boy. I wouldn't have needed to get up so early if these kids hadn't decided to have the ceremony so far away from civilization!"

"Pierre, 'uh? But yo're not French, I take it?" asked Monterey.

"No, we're all natives. It's just that my great-grandfather had a lot of contact with French settlers, so he took one of their last names."

Then he turned to his son, "Dale, your mom and I are really proud. Here you are, a Rescue Ranger, and you're finally takin' the plunge. Foxglove is a really lucky bat, and from what you told us about her in your letters, you're one lucky Oakmont, too."

"And it was about time, too!" added Dalee. "_All_ of our neighbours are showin' off their grandcubs, making us look bad! I hope your line of work won't get _too_ much in the way of that!"

It was Dale's turn to blush. "I hope so, too," he replied sheepishly.

"Oh, Chip, _now_ do you see the situation you've put us in?" asked Nikoma, slightly annoyed at her still-single son. "Pretty soon, _we_ will be the only ones in our part of the forest _without_ grandcubs! And with you in the line of fire every day, well, you wouldn't want the Maplewood line to die out with you, would you?"

"Uhm, mom," he said, obviously annoyed. "I would be more than happy to give you grandcubs, but," he took his parents aside a bit and whispered, "the _other_ party is not exactly cooperating at this point in time," swivelling an ear toward a certain mousemaid nearby.

"Oh, nonsense, boy!" blurted Chap. "You've got the dashing looks of your sire and grandsire, you're everything you can be, and if the 'other party' doesn't cooper—"

"SHHHHHHHHHH!" he hissed. "I _am_ working on it, dad! Just be patient!"

"'Patient'? _'Patient'?_ Chip, we've been patient for the better part of two decades—!"

"Anyone 'ere getting married? You'd better 'ave good food after this shindig! An' it 'ad better be with cheese!"

They all turned and saw none other than Cheddarhead Charlie! But then he was suddenly shoved aside—

"Ah, pipe down, you big lug! 'Ey, mates, you'd better keep an eye on this bloke afore 'e cleans out all the cheese from yore tables!"

"MOM! DAD!" exclaimed Monterey, running to hug them. "But…I thought you two were in Kenya and Samoa!"

Cheddarhead explained, "Well, I _was_ in Samoa albatross-wrestlin' when a nice gerbil lass came up to me and asked me if I was yore dad. She told me that with 'er computer she talked to someone 'ere in York and told 'er that a Rescue Ranger was getting 'itched. I came 'ere as fast as I could, but when I saw the papers that it wasn't _you_, I was moighty disappointed. Still, I'm 'appy for yore friend, 'ere."

"An' I got tired of playin' make-the-inbred-lion-drool-oops-'e-already-is, back in Kenya, so I went to the city an' picked up a paper. You know the rest."

She then turned to the groom, "Dale, me lad, I don't know whether to congratulate you on yore weddin' or call you crazy for marring a bat!"

"Mother, please—"

"That's all right, Monty," said Dale. "I knew there would be opinions, but I decided not to let them get to me."

Camembert Kate then turned to her son and slapped the back of his head. "Now _why_ can't you be like that, Cheeser? If it wasn't enough that you blew it with that French lass, you look like you _really_ like to take yore time with this! An' at this point, I wouldn't mind if you married a _lizard_, jus' as long as we knew you were in good paws!"

Now it was Monterey's turn to blush. "Mom, dad, I'm gettin' to that. Really…"

The parents introduced each other, and as they were doing so, a knot began forming in _Gadget's_ throat now. While she was more than happy for Dale and Foxglove, the sight of everyone else's parents was almost more than she could bear. With no one of her bloodline present, she just couldn't help but feel cheated, even if this was a happy occasion for the family that "adopted" her.

"You don't seem too happy for Dale."

Startled, Gadget stuttered, "Huh? Oh, golly, Mr. Maplewood, uh, I _am_ happy for Dale. It's just that…that…"

"I know, child, I know. Chip told me what happened. I can only imagine what you went through, and what you're going through now. But, here's a happy thought: How's about you having _us_ as your parents?"

"DAD!" screamed the _other_ Mr. Maplewood.

Dale turned to him and whispered, "That would then make her your _sister_, Young Skywalker! Ha!"

And he received a well deserved bonk for that remark.

"Now, now, son, take it easy," said Chap, rather amused by his son's reaction. "I was merely telling your friend she could 'borrow' us whenever she should need a mother or father to talk to."

"Oh, golly, Mr. Maplewood—"

"Call me 'dad'."

Chip slapped his forehead and wiped his face with tremendous embarrassment.

"Mr. Maplewood, I just couldn't. I _really_ appreciate your offer, but I don't think it would be convenient, for me…or Chip."

"Nonsense, Gadget!" said Nikoma, placing a paw on her shoulder. "While we never had a daughter, we would _love_ to have you as part of the family, even if it _is_ only in a 'rent-a-parent' basis."

"Just trying to help you out, son," Chap told him, aside.

"Well, you're _not_," he growled in response, with one paw still covering his mouth.

"Mr. and Mrs. Maplewood, it's just too much, too soon, really. But I _will_ give it some thought."

Zipper then asked the mousemaid, "Say, Gadget, where were you all this time? The ceremony is about to begin."

"Where was I all this time? Well, I realized after Foxy and I got here that I'd forgotten the cassette player and the music I had picked out—and no, Dale, it's not that one—and so I went back for it. Then as soon as I got it I realized that Dale's wedding is a special enough occasion to wear something special, so I changed clothes. And as for the Ranger Wing, I needed to save time getting back here and besides, I thought Dale and Foxy could have it after the service and the rest of us would fly back in the Ranger Plane…if you know what I mean!" She winked at Dale, who appreciated her thoughtfulness.

Then she asked something that made them all feel uncomfortable. "Er…where is Foxy?"

Dale immediately snapped out of his reverie and began to panic. "Isn't she with you?" he asked with a voice full of anxiety.

"No. I thought she'd be with you guys. Hmmm," she added, "maybe she's still down by the pond where I left her," and she turned her steps that way, with the crowd following her.

It took them no time to return to the exact spot, but Foxglove was not there.

That was bad enough.

But even worse was what was there:

On the very edge of the pond was a flurry of pawprints that could not be clearly made out, as though some sort of struggle had taken place.

And on the dry ground just beyond the mud lay a very fancy envelope.

Dale snatched it up at once and found "The Rescue Rangers" written on the front in calligraphy and an old-fashioned seal on the back holding it shut. He tore the envelope open to find a very expensive looking card that had "On Your Wedding" written in glitter on the front, but the inside of the card had no printed message, being one of those on which the sender writes his own thoughts. It was this that brought him to the pinnacle of despair, for on it in the same beautiful manuscript as appeared on the envelope were the words "You know the place" and a pawprint in ink. There was no doubt whatsoever about what it meant, and Dale let the card drop out of his hands.

After remaining immobile for what seemed like a very long time, he fainted dead away…


	7. The Moment of Digression

**THE MOMENT OF DIGRESSION**

_…When Dale came to, he found himself lying face up on the couch with the other Rangers, Tammy, and Midge gathered around him with worried expressions…_

[Let's break off to the tangent right here:]

When Dale came to, he found himself lying face up on the couch with Tammy, Midge, Otis, his parents, Chip's parents, Monty's parents, and Phinehas gathered around him with worried expressions.

"Wh-what happened?" he asked with an unsteady voice.

"You don't remember?" Midge asked him.

Dale knew that he was feeling terrible about something, but he just couldn't remember what it was. And why was he wearing a tuxedo?

But when he saw Midge, Phinehas, his parents, Chip's parents, and Monty's parents, and all still in formal attire, he remembered the reason for them being there and soon recollection returned in full, and all the emotions connected with it:

"Foxy!" Dale shouted, "Fat Cat's got her! We've got to rescue her, Chip, we've just got to…uh…where are Chip and the others?"

Tammy replied, "They took the Ranger Plane and went to rescue her as soon as you fainted. Mom took Bink back home, and Chip told us to bring you back here and make sure you were fine, and to make sure that…you…wouldn't do something crazy."

"CRAZY?" he yelled, sitting up and attempting to stand. Pierre and Cheddarhead held him back, though. "'CRAZY? ! YOUKNOWTHAT'SNOTENOUGHTODRIVEMECRAZYTAMMY—!"

[WHACK!]

Phinehas stepped up and connected a swift back-paw on Dale's face. He was strong for an old chipmunk.

Dale, his head now reinstalled by that action, breathed calmly and slowly. "Uh, sorry, Tammy, I…I…didn't mean to yell at you. And…thanks, Phinehas. Now I see why Chip left me behind."

"Trust me, sonny, this 'old chipmunk' knows that a chipmunk gone berserk is not only a danger to others, but to himself as well."

"Oh, Dale, we're so sorry that this happened to you on your weddin' night," cried Dalee.

Dale calmed down at the sound of his mother's sad voice—

But then he saw _Otis_ standing in front of him.

His very species brought the emotions and pain back with a vengeance.

"And what the hell are _you_ doin' here?" he asked insolently, flattening his ears and stiffening his tail.

Otis, feeling a trifle self-conscious, lowered his ears, held his wings in front of him, and stuttered, "Uh, well, I…sorta felt worried for you too, Dale…and seeing you would be s-s-sorta joining our kin…well…it _is_ our duty to protect one another. I told Chip that I could round up every single bat in New York City to help you guys, but he refused. The others also offered their help, but he said the Rangers knew the enemy very well, and…that we could cause more harm than good if we tried to assist you. So instead, I asked if I too could stay here and look after you."

Dale once again felt embarrassed by his incivility. Still, he knew Chip had made the right decision. They simply could _not_ waste any time in rescuing Foxglove, and they all _knew_ about his random behaviour, and how unpredictable he could get in such a situation like this one.

But even with all the logical steps that were taken, he just couldn't sit here and do nothing.

His face then turned to stone, and with the most serious voice he had ever generated (to his surprise, too) he asked the bat, "Otis, can you _really_ gather every single bat in New York City?"

The chiropterid, and everyone else, were stunned at Dale's tone of voice, which was practically unheard of in a chipmunk. "Y-yes, but I don't think Chip will—"

"How soon can they come?"

"Well…I…in about twenty minutes. But you—"

"And how long have I been out?"

"Ten minutes," replied Tammy. "Dale—"

The chipmunk slowly stood and eyed the young squirrel, who instantly hushed when she saw the expression on his face. It was doubtful that more pain, fury, shock, terror, hatred, worry, insanity, and, why not, _passion_, could have come out of those eyes. She cowered and lowered her ears when she realised Dale had made up his mind.

The chipmunk then eyed each of the others as well as he calmly declared, "Chip always told me I was the crazy one, the clown. Well, then, that cat just honked this clown's nose one time too many. Tammy, I'm gonna need your help in—"

"S-sorry, Dale, but Chip told me to stay behind and prepare a bed with first ai—" Tammy choked on her own words as the full seriousness of the situation suddenly hit her.

Dale slowly continued, "Okay, okay, you…you do that. Although I hope we won't need it." He turned to the elders, "Guys, I think you'd better stay here with her—"

"Oh, no you don't lad!" said Cheddarhead, standing and locking eyes with him. "Chippah told us you'd go crazy enough to do somethin' like this! That's why we're 'ere: 'e _knew_ it'd take _ALL_ of us to keep you 'ere an' make sure you didn't go bonkers!"

"That was a stupid cartoon—"

Camembert pleaded, "Please, Dale, if you _really_ love Foxy, don't run off and screw everythin' up like you always—"

Dale suddenly made eye contact with Monterey's parents.

For two huge mice, they, too, cowered at Dale's gaze.

So, _that_ was the reason they left him behind.

They knew he would try to come to the rescue, and knowing Dale, something was practically _always_ sure to go wrong whenever he was involved, especially in a situation such as this. They _couldn't_ let him take a risk that could put Foxglove's in more danger than she already was—

Dale was hazardous to Foxy's health?

Infuriated at his own clumsiness and incompetence (even though they had diminished since last year), his eyes yellowed and his fur darkened. Was smoke coming out of his ears?

"NO," he snarled. "NOT THIS TIME. THIS TIME I _WON'T_ MESS UP. NOT WHEN FOXY'S INVOLVED. FAT CAT, THIS TIME IT'S **_PERSONAL_**. I AM GOIN' TO HELP HER, AND **_NOBODY_** BETTER TRY TO STOP ME. AND GOD HELP ME, IF I GET BUT **_ONE_** CHANCE TO KILL THAT CAT, THEN **_I—WILL—KILL—HIM_**." Startled at his own words, Dale shivered slightly, and added more calmly, "Er…as I was sayin', y'all better stay here with Tammy—"

"No," said Pierre, eyes flashing, standing to meet his son's gaze. "Not when our new daughter is in such danger. We're comin' with you, son."

Cheddarhead added, "Roight, mate, an' since you made up yore mind, an' if we can't stop you, we might as well come too."

"And _we're_ not missing any of the fun, either!" added Chap, also standing. "Chip always told us about the excitement of the rescue, so I think it's fitting that we experience that, too!"

Dale turned to them and said, "That's great, guys, and I appreciate your help, but the problem is that none of you know how to fly the Ranger Wing, and only _I_ know how to hang-glide. I am the one with the most 'rescue' experience here. _I_…_I _have to do this."

They all looked at him with sadness for a moment, and then Pierre said, "Okay. We will stay here and…and…help Tammy out a bit."

"Thanks, dad. Midge, Otis…"


	8. Into the Cat's Mouth

**INTO THE CAT'S MOUTH**

One had to admire Gadget's preparedness, one really did. One thing was for her to wear a parachute under her jumpsuit 24/7, but it was something completely different for her to keep a change of wardrobe for the entire team, inside both planes, for emergencies such as this one. Thus, their formal attire would not be damaged in any way during the rescue, and, they realised, Gadget had total faith in the team's ability to rescue their friend and so was completely convinced that they would eventually wear their formal attire again and proceed with the ceremony. Not to mention that they didn't waste time going back to the tree to retrieve their everyday wardrobe; they only needed to duck under some foliage to "arm" themselves, and then quickly board their craft and be on their way.

It was a warm May night just past the full moon; a night they otherwise would have enjoyed. However, a single thought coursed through their minds this night, and that was to save their friend. Again, no words were spoken. In this manner, and with the Ranger Plane going at full speed, they arrived soon enough at their destination: the statue atop the Happy Tom Cat Food Factory.

The decision to use the Ranger Plane had been a good one, for now they could forego landing in what might have been plain sight in favour of perching on the wall just beneath the surface of the roof, thanks to the two plungers it used for landing gear. With stealthy springs (except for Zipper, for whom such tactics were unnecessary) the Rangers were on the roof itself, with Gadget leading the way with her weapon at the ready, and Monty close behind with his sleeves rolled up. And without Dale to show off his heroics with no thought whatsoever by charging straight in right there and then, things appeared to be going smoothly.

They slowly made their way to the entrance to Fat Cat's headquarters, located at the base of the head of the cat statue. They stopped just outside the small opening and looked at one another in silence. They knew there was probably a trap inside waiting for them, but did not want to give themselves away by speaking.

After this fleeting exchange of glances, they entered to meet their fate.

Once inside the statue's head, they found it very dark indeed. There was some faint illumination filtering through the narrow neck from the body, but even to rodent eyes it proved of very little use in seeing their surroundings. They knew, of course, that it was toward those lights that they needed to go; it was the place where the kingpin of feline crime held court, as they had been there before. But the darkness and silence of the place, combined with the perilous situation in which they knew their innocent friend was, gave them all an especially sombre feeling.

It seemed that this time their arch-nemesis intended to settle matters once and for all.

Despite the small amount of information provided by two of their senses, a third told them loudly and clearly of the danger they were in.

"Guys," Gadget whispered, "I can smell them! They're in here!"

"Stay close to the wall, guys," replied Chip. "And don't make any sudden movements!"

Slowly, they moved to the wall on their right, still headed for the faint lights.

"Can you see 'er, mates?" asked Monty.

"No, I don—"

A horrified gasp shot through Gadget's throat.

There, for all to see, not too plainly, however, was a bat suspended motionlessly between the floor and the ceiling…

_…hanging from a long, thin rope._

Horror ripped through the Rangers' hearts at that sight. Chip could not bring himself to think what he would tell Dale, or what would have happened if he had been here to see this. Speechless, the four of them walked toward the hanging shape. A closer inspection brought welcome gasps of relief when they saw that the rope was _not_ around the bat's neck. Instead, it bound the wings together, rendering it momentarily flightless.

"Looks like she's out cold, I hope," whispered Chip. "Guys, they're in here, all right, but I don't think they've seen, smelt, nor heard us. They would have been all over us by now. Gadget, can you snap the rope with the plunger?"

"Sure thing, Chip. Guys, get ready to catch her and run for your lives!"

The males thus quietly padded under the unconscious bat, while the mousemaid raised her plunger harpoon, drew a bead on where she calculated was the weakest point of the thin rope, and fired. The plunger snapped the rope, and the bat fell down. Chip and Monty caught her without a sound, but they suddenly gasped.

It wasn't Foxglove.

_It was a rag dummy!_

Before anyone could do anything, something fell on top of them, something elastic. Then, it was pulled up from under them, knocking them off their feet. And almost as suddenly as they felt the net tighten around them, they were lifted off the floor and suspended in the air as wicked laughter assaulted their ears.

"Well boys, what did I tell you?" the familiar voice cooed in triumph, "The simpler the plan, the greater its chances of success!"

Then, the Rangers found themselves being carried into the body of the cat statue, including Zipper, as the mesh was too small for even him to fly through. Another light switched on, and they all could clearly see Fat Cat holding them in the net with his right paw, and grabbing an unconscious Foxglove with his left.


	9. Showdown at Happy Tom's

**SHOWDOWN AT HAPPY TOM'S**

Fat Cat, too, knew his enemy well, and so he was correct when he predicted that they would come to free the bat. So, even before the actual kidnapping, he had already begun setting up this trap. Knocking out the bat was easy; one swift rap on the head had been enough. He also knew that the Rangers would be expecting him to stash her in a cage of some sort, but he decided to have some fun and let them sweat at the thought that he had hanged her, while he had been grabbing her all this time instead. There were just a couple of electrical lights here, and Wart, the good climber that he was, reached them and smashed them with a small mallet. To Fat Cat's thinking, they served no real purpose anyway, and their light at this time was an obstruction to his plans. If the humans thought they were important, they would come to replace them later. And with all his cronies waiting for the right moment to pull on the net, it almost amazed him that this time his plan had been accomplished without any flaws whatsoever. Besides, those "Rescue Rodents" would not leave without making every attempt to free their friend. _It was a weakness to be counted upon among the good guys!_ All the same, Gadget's whisper at having caught their odour caused him much concern, but with everyone holding their positions and not making a sound, the trap was sprung successfully. It was at this point that Fat Cat issued his cry of victory and the hearts of the Rangers fell.

It seemed that they were doomed after all, the five of them, at least.

"Now, we need everyone to be fully aware of what is coming up next," stated the obese feline. He padded up to a fishbowl and dunked poor Foxy in it. Pulling her out one second later, he shook off the excess water while Foxglove coughed and gasped her way back to consciousness.

The others cringed with fear and rage at that sight. Dale was more than lucky to not be here to see this.

Moments later, Foxglove took deep breaths and slowly assessed her situation.

"Foxy, are you all right? Has he hurt you?" asked Chip.

"No, Chip—[cough!]—I'm fine, except for a headache—[wheeze!]—"

Chip was sorely glad that Dale was not seeing this.

Looking at her captor, Foxglove deduced who he was. "Fat Cat! How dare you do this to me! Just you wait, the Rescue Rangers are gonna come and give you what you—" It was here when Foxglove saw _where_ the other Rangers were at this point.

Gadget said, "Sorry, Foxy, we appear to have a small problem. But don't you worry! We've been in predicaments like these before and we've always gotten out! We'll rescue you yet!"

"Too roight!" Monterey Jack joined in, "That tubby tabby 'asn't seen the day 'e can outsmart the Rescue Rangers!"

"Oh, I don't think so," Fat Cat responded confidently, "though I'll give you an 'A' for effort in trying to cheer up the young bride. You see," he continued, "I have always made one mistake when dealing with you vermin: I have always put you aside for later while attending to more urgent matters. But this time, _you_ are the urgent matter. And much as I'd like to exercise my creativity in designing appropriately slow and painful deaths for you all, I have built my empire on one single, simple principle: _never let emotions interfere with purely business decisions_. So," he said, holding the helpless Rangers even with his malicious gaze, "I have decided that the only way to get rid of you once and for all is to kill you all myself, _RIGHT NOW_!"

"WAIT!" Chip had been silent, but now his voice rang out loud and clear. "Fat Cat, I have a deal to offer you."

"A deal?" Fat Cat scoffed with disbelief, "You, my friend, are in no position to offer a deal to _anyone_!"

"Just hear me out!" Chip said, "I think you will find it quite satisfactory!"

The feline chuckled, "Now you have me interested, rodent! What is this 'deal'?"

Chip drew a deep breath. "I'm the one you really want," he said. "I'm the leader of the Rescue Rangers. The whole thing was my idea. I'm the one who's always had to be the hot shot crime fighter. So, my deal is this: Let the others go. All of them. They'll disband the Rescue Rangers and never bother you again. And in return…" here he swallowed audibly, "…you get me. My life in exchange for theirs. Or at least let Foxglove go. She never did anything to you. Deal?"

Naturally, when Chip said that, there was a collective gasp from the other Rangers, followed by protests from each of them.

_"No, pally!"_ Monty exclaimed.

"Chip, what do you think you're doing?" screeched Foxglove.

Zipper buzzed with disbelief.

Meanwhile Gadget turned to him with eyes full of tears and cried, "_CHIP!_ You can't mean that! We won't be able to go on without you! We…_I_ won't be able to go on without you! Don't do this! Please!"

"Sorry, gang, but I'm the leader and I make the decisions!" he told them, still looking at Fat Cat, "Including this final one! Well, Fat Cat? What do you say?"

"Now that is an interesting proposition!" Fat Cat said, obviously taunting him, "Let me think about it. Now let's see! Hmmmmmmm…NO! And now that we are all happily reunited, we shall _all_ go down at once: the bride, the groom, the bride's mate, the best man—"

Fat Cat suddenly stopped and inspected the net more closely.

It wasn't as heavy as he thought it would be.

Running some figures through his head, and then shaking the net and twirling it around to make sure he was counting correctly, he came to realise something.

Holding up the net to his face with his right paw, he growled at the now somewhat groggy and slightly bruised Rangers, _"All right, where is he?"_

"Where's who?" asked a very dizzy Zipper.

Foxglove, meanwhile, had also scanned the net and didn't know whether she should be happy or scared at the piece of information she gathered.

"Where's Dale?" she asked.

"HIM!" roared Fat Cat. "That vermin red-nosed groom! Mepps, Wart, Mole, Snout, search the compound! He must have escaped, somehow!"

"All, right, Dale!" cried Foxglove. She echosounded the room as best she could, also looking for her mate. But when the familiar and sensual profile did _not_ reach her ears, she turned to the Rangers. "He's not—"

The others clumsily held their fingers to their mouths, and Foxglove immediately held her peace, knowing she had to remain silent. But the look on her face clearly communicated that she wanted to know where he was, why he wasn't here, and what the others were planning.

After intense searching and sniffing, Mepps whined, "Boss, I don't think he's here!"

"Oh, he's here, all right. After all," he raised Foxglove to his eye level, "I am sure your fiancé would more than want to take part in your little rescue operation, right, bat?"

Foxglove turned to her captor and looked at him with the most dangerous gaze she could conjure, "You'll never find him. And you'd better let us go before something awful happens to you."

"My dear, the only 'awful' thing that will be happening will be _to_ _you_ if he doesn't show his face!" He then stood straight and called out, "All right, you miserable rodent, we _all_ know you are in here! And while you're hiding very well, I can say that it will _not_ do your friends any good! After all, you're but one and I have the rest in my claws! So, you have exactly _ten seconds_ to show yourself! And if you don't, I am going to eat your bride right here in front of you!"

This was too much now.

"He's not here, Fat Cat!" screamed Chip, finally. "He collapsed when he saw what happened, and we left him behind! He'll probably be out cold for the rest of the night!"

"He DID?" asked Foxglove, completely surprised.

Dale, her knight in shining armour, the bravest chipmunk she had ever met…

_…fainted in the face of danger?_

Fat Cat looked at Chip with mock pity, "And do you _really_ expect me to believe that, rodent? TEN—!"

Foxglove realised that she _had_ to buy time somehow…perhaps she could bluff her way out!

"Mr. Fat Cat, you'd better not eat me," she warned.

"And why is that, Madam?" he asked with an amused tone, interrupting his countdown.

"If you eat me you'll go crazy and die!" she said, all the time thinking, _I can't believe I'm doing this!_

"Really now? You look perfectly healthy to me!" Fat Cat responded, still amused.

"But it's true! It's been in all the papers," she added.

"'Papers'? My dear, the only thing in the papers germane to your situation is the background they all gave of you. That's how I knew how to appeal to your…_daughterly instincts_," he explained with satisfaction, not seeming to care a whit about the cruelty of his trick.

The Rangers looked at Foxglove with confusion, so she explained, "He sent me a letter, supposedly from an old male bat who thought I was his daughter. I…I…fell for it." She sniffed back a tear of shame at her weakness.

The Inventor then cringed when she heard that.

This whole situation was _Gadget's_ fault!

But then, Foxglove suddenly snapped out of her self-pity and continued her ploy, though she now realised thoroughly the danger of the game she was playing. "You'd better take my advice," she said with the greatest sincerity, "if you eat me, you'll die within forty-eight hours! You know how much faster bat rabies works than any other kind."

"Really?" Mepps asked, slowly becoming concerned and stepping away slightly from Fat Cat's left paw, "W-why is that, Boss?"

"'Cause it's magic!" Foxglove answered before the feline could respond.

"Gee, Fat Cat," said Mole, also stepping back, "maybe we'd better do what she says!"

"I've done research on that, Fat Cat," added Gadget, playing along with Foxglove, hoping she could make up for her mistake somehow. "And it's 100 percent true. In fact, we had to give Dale an immune shot just so he could kiss her on the cheek. It took us a whole year to make just one millilitre, _that's_ why they didn't get married sooner—"

"Oh, shut up, rodent!" Fat Cat hissed at the mousemaid.

Then he turned to Foxglove again. "I know what you're doing," he told her with a voice that made his displeasure quite clear, "and it won't work. I am going to eat you. Please don't bring something even more unpleasant upon yourself."

That frightened Foxy even more and made her resort to even more desperate measures. "Then after you die you'll come back and be my slave and have to do everything I say," she said. "Don't you ever watch the late show?" Meanwhile, within herself she was giving the great-granddaddy of all winces.

"_After_ I've eaten you? Now you are getting pathetic! I would not have expected such illogical thinking, even from a female with the poor judgment to want to marry one of those rodents," he said patronizingly.

She put on her best Christmas-orphan expression. "I'll make you be good," she warned.

"Oh, please!"

"I'll make you be sweet."

_"ENOUGH!" _he roared, "My patience with you is over! You will neither save your own life nor distract me from attending to your boyfriend! Now since your job as the bait in this trap has already been completed, I advise you to be quiet! After all, I don't really need you anymore! Now, where were we? NINE!"

"Uh, Boss—"

"QUIET, MEPPS! EIGHT!"

Did Foxglove hear something at this point?

"SEVEN!"

"B-Boss—"

Fat Cat growled at the lanky cat, "Mepps, don't interrupt me again! SIX!"

Snout and Wart turned pale at this point, too.

"FIVE!"

"You're as good as dead—uuuuuggghhhhhh!" said Foxglove, with sudden confidence in her voice. The Rangers could only look with awe and surprise at the batmaid's sudden change of attitude—

But then they all cringed as Fat Cat eyed her and tightened his grip, squeezing nine-tenths of the wind out of her.

"No, my dear, YOU are. FOUR!"

"Uh, Boss, I think that—"

"SHUT UP, WART. THREE!"

"Fat Cat—"

"I DON'T NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU, EITHER, SNOUT. TWO!"

Foxglove now eyed him with contempt, though her eyes and cheeks were bulging due to the cat's grip.

"I MEAN IT, RODENT! SEE, I AM OPENING MY MOUTH _REALLY WIDE_! ONE!"

Instinctively, Foxglove was about to bite his paw when they all heard,

"You're as good as dead, fatso."

Slowly, everyone turned and saw Dale standing behind the group, clad in his Hawaiian shirt, near the neck of the cat statue.

Never had they seen his face so stone-like, not even when he was RamDale.

In fact, Dale looked at Fat Cat in such a way that it even made _him_ quite uncomfortable.

"Oooh, _you're_ quite a brave one, rodent," he said coolly, in a quick recovery. "And I see that you've finally decided to show yourself. That was smart of you, after all, you _really_ would not have wanted your _lovely_ bride to have ended up as cat food, not after all _you've_ been through."

Dale began padding toward the feline, paws fisted and ears flat against his head, with a very definitely defiant stride. "Fat Cat, _you_ have exactly five seconds to release my friends, before a slow death comes on you and your thugs." His voice was unbelievably dangerous.

"Uh, Boss—"

"Not now, Wart! Well, if it isn't the bravest rodent in the world, walking toward _his_ own death, in a futile attempt to save his friends and his never-to-be wife!"

"Dale, get outta here!" yelled Chip.

Dale ignored him.

"I mean it, Fat Cat," he continued padding toward him. "If you don't let them go, you are goin' to die the slowest and most painful death possible."

If Fat Cat had known Dale more personally, he would have immediately released the Rangers and Foxglove at this point. The others who did, however, knew that by the look on Dale's face, one they had never seen before, he was very much intent on killing Fat Cat, somehow.

At this point, though, the cronies began encroaching the kingpin, as if looking for protection.

"You morons!" he growled at their behaviour and shoved them away. "Can't you see he's bluffing? _He_ can't do anything to us!"

"B-Boss—?" Mepps whined as if he was about to be run over by a semi.

Fat Cat was about to yell at him, but when he saw the look on Mepps' face, he wondered just _what_ had him so pale-scared and all. It couldn't be the chipmunk, for there was only one, with no weapons whatsoever. Then he noticed Mepps was looking at the ceiling. Turning to the others, they were _also_ staring at the ceiling, pale, speechless, and horrified like never before.

So, Fat Cat looked up—

Covering every single square millimetre of the ceiling, were BATS, all looking at him with dark eyes, smiling evilly.

The Rangers also looked up, and smiled.

Eerie laughs began resonating throughout the compound, echoing in cowardly heads down to cowardly hearts.

Fat Cat was now robbed of all speech, and all his blood pooled in his foot-paws.

"You're right, Fat Cat, _I_ can't do anythin' to you. I _can_ however, ask my soon-to-be extended family to start hittin' you and your cronies with every drop of SPIT they have. Would you like me to do that?"

Fat Cat, not taking his eyes off the sea of bats above him, very slowly, crouched to the floor and put down Foxglove and the net containing the Rangers.

Immediately, Otis and Midge flew over and helped the Rangers out of the net. Once freed, Monterey and Chip ran over to Foxglove, who fell down the moment she was free of Fat Cat's constrictor-like grip, since she had little blood in her extremities now. The males hoisted her on their shoulders and carried her over to Dale. Embracing her, he held her steady as she tried to catch her breath again.

Her fur was damp, for some reason.

Momentarily infuriated at the fact that Foxy might _actually_ be injured, Dale chattered, "Fat Cat, you didn't do somethin' as stupid as _hurt my future wife_, did you now?"

"Well, Dale," replied Foxy, wincing as she tried to get blood circulating in her wings again. "_Someone_ hit me on the head—I can't say it was him—but he _did_ dunk me in a fishbowl and nearly squeezed the guts right out of me."

Dale's eyes narrowed when he heard that. "Oh, did he, now? Guys, could you help me, here?"

The Rangers stepped up to him and he handed Foxglove over to them.

He then approached the petrified feline and chanted, "Oh, Faaaatsoooo…"

Fat Cat looked down and saw Dale motioning him with an index digit to come closer. Trembling, the feline knelt and brought his face down to match the chipmunk's height. Even though the Ranger was totally unarmed, the fierceness in his eyes made the villain think that he was going to kill him right there and then.

Dale inhaled deeply, making a growling sound as he did so. He reared his head momentarily, and then he—

_PTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEYYY…_

_ TOOOOOEEEYYY…_

_ TOOEEEYY…_

_ TOOEEY…_

_ tooeeyy…_

_ ooeey…_

_ ooee…_

(Yes, it echoed throughout the statue for a minute or so.)

Fat Cat suddenly recoiled and fell back on the floor, covering his left eye with both paws.

"Be thankful that right now I am feelin' forgivin'," growled the chipmunk. He then padded back to the others, took Foxglove in his arms, turned to face the kidnappers again, and added, "And if you _or_ your thugs come anywhere _near_ Foxglove again, **_I—WILL—KILL—YOU_**."

And by the tone of his voice, all those present knew he more than meant that.

Dale turned and headed for the exit, with the others following. The bats on the ceiling remained where they were, however.

Fat Cat clumsily sat up, wiping his face, and trembled, "W-wait…I've…I've l-l-let your f-f-friends go-go-go-go…c-call…offfff…the b-b-b-b-b-bats—"

Dale turned to his friends and asked, "Should I call them off?"

Foxglove then whispered something lengthy in his ear, which made him smile.

"Well, you heard her, guys!" he called to the bats on the ceiling. "But wait 'till we're outta range. C'mon guys, you don't want to get rabies, either."

As they padded to the entrance, Fat Cat stuttered with desperation, "W-w-wait…we…had a…d-d-deal! C-c-come back! C-c-c-c-call them o-o-off!"

The Rangers looked at the couple with slight confusion.

"Dale, what's going on?" asked Gadget, but Dale only beamed at her.

When they were right at the entrance of the statue, Dale stopped and turned around again. The rest did too, wondering what he had in mind—

Spit.

Spit spit.

Spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spitter spitter spitter spitter spitter spitter—

The five kidnappers gasped with horror as a rain of saliva began pouring around them, though not on them directly. They huddled as close as they could, and even tried to climb on top of Fat Cat, but he punched and swiped his claws at them, making sure they remained around him, as living shields.

Chip, seeing that, didn't know whether to feel happy and relieved or absolutely grossed out. Finally, he turned to his best friend and declared, "I knew I could count on you, buddy. You saved the day."

Dale did not reply at that, but instead, a distant look came upon his face.

"Uh, Dale?" asked Chip with concern.

Fat Cat was wondering how long they would have to wait before the saliva dried out in order to move from that spot, when suddenly he heard Dale yell, _"LET THEM HAVE IT!"_

And the pouring saliva now came on _them_.

Screaming with unimaginable horror, the five of them tried to dash to the nearest exit, but with the floor being so slippery, they fell in a heap, struggling to keep themselves covered, and screaming all the more.

The Rangers then ran out to the roof and waited until the bad guys tumbled out.

Fat Cat cried, "Quick! We have to get to that seedy vet with the revoked license that I keep on the payroll before WE GO CRAZY! AND HURRY, YOU IDIOTS! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FASTER BAT SPIT WORKS THAN ANY OTHER KIND! IT'S BEEN IN ALL THE PAPERS!"

And they dashed off, screaming for the rest of their journey.

The Rangers, Midge, and Otis looked on as the cronies stumbled into the darkness. All breathed deeply with immense relief.

They were safe now.

Dale turned to Otis and said, "Thanks, Otis, I'm glad I could count on your friends."

"You mean 'brothers', 'brother'! And I must say, you're one lucky 'munk to have a bride as great looking as _her_!" he replied.

Foxy blushed, but Dale then got that distant look again, and without a word, carried her to the Ranger Plane. The others wondered what was eating Dale; after all, no one was seriously hurt, they had rescued Foxglove, and everything would soon be back to normal…

…wouldn't it?

With their mission accomplished, the bats began flying out of the statue and started circling the Rangers, obviously sharing their joy in the successful rescue.

Chip stepped up to his best friend and asked, "Dale, what's wrong?"

The groom turned and looked at him in the eye.

Chip was now the one to see pain, for some unknown reason.

"Later," was all he said. "You take Foxy in the plane, and I'll hang-glide back home."

"Dale, what—" Foxglove was cut off as she, too, saw immense pain in his eyes.

Dale handed Foxglove over to Chip, who reluctantly carried her into the plane. The groom turned to Otis and said, "It's still a few hours 'till daylight, and there are plenty of insects in the park. I guess that's all I can give you guys for what you did."

"Hey, you're practically family now. So just think of this as a family favour—" Otis could not for the life explain why even more pain came to Dale's eyes, who then shook his wing, and headed for his glider.

Dale took off, followed moments later by the Ranger Plane, and as they flew back home, they could only look with awe as they saw themselves escorted on all sides by countless bats. When they reached the park, all the bats dipped their wings toward them in salute, and dispersed.


	10. Breakdown

**BREAKDOWN**

Everyone had been up all night and had rested very little the night and day before, with only their adrenaline keeping them going through the whole ordeal. Now it was returning to its normal level and their exhaustion was beginning to hit them all at once, and in spades. They were also feeling very hungry, especially Foxglove, who required more food than the others to meet the requirements of her metabolism. So upon entering headquarters, as much as they would have liked to go to bed, they simply _had_ to eat. Monty insisted that he was quite capable of preparing dinner, but they all knew better.

Fortunately, when they saw the shape their friends were in, Tammy, Phinehas, and the six parents had set about serving a meal at once. It was prepared previously as they had waited with extreme anxiety, and when dinner was done, they had kept themselves busy by cleaning up the treehouse. And after anticipating a far greater emergency, they were only too glad to perform such a mundane task.

It was only upon tasting their food when they all realized how famished they really were, especially poor Foxy, who had to have several servings of delicious mealworms and lots of water. While she was thus busily engaged, she and the others looked upon Dale with pure admiration.

"Fellow Rangers, I give you the hero to whom we owe our lives: Dale Oakmont!" Chip exclaimed, holding a thimble of water aloft.

"To Dale Oakmont!" the others concurred enthusiastically, completing the toast.

Dale did not react to that complement, but still kept his pained look in his face. "Well, thanks, guys," he answered softly. "Though most of the plan was made up as I went along."

"Aw, come on, Dale!" Gadget smiled, "That's _exactly_ what we were expecting! Your randomness! Fat Cat and his gang simply cannot figure you out! You practically had them wrapped around your little finger!"

"I…I have never felt more scared, not only for you, Foxy, but for you guys, too." His voice was still rather distant, and pained.

"That's what a hero is," Chip explained. "Just someone who—in spite of his own fear—and word of command—risks himself to try to save others."

"Too roight!" Monterey Jack added with enthusiasm, "That's all it takes, an' that's what you've got in spades! An' while yore record ain't perfect, yo're more than perfect in _my_ book, and in Foxy's too, I take it!"

Zipper heartily squeaked his agreement.

Foxglove, however, began feeling terrible at this point. She lowered her head and confessed, "This never would have happened if I hadn't fallen for Fat Cat's trick. I'm sorry, Dale, and…I'm sorry, guys."

"No, Foxy!" cried Gadget, placing her paw on her shoulder. "I should have _never_ given out that press release! I think we were lucky that it was _only_ Fat Cat who decided to show up! Or…at least…I should have never left you alone by the pond…"

"It…it…wasn't your fault, Gadget," said Dale, still tremendously pained, "or yours, Foxy…"

"You know, Dale," said Nikoma, looking with worry at the young male, "for a hero who saved everyone and everything, you look as if you just killed your best friend."

_ I think I did,_ he thought.

"She's right," said Chap. "So, lighten up a bit, okay? From what Chip tells me, your 'hero moments' don't come very often! And what else could be better now? You rescued our kids, you got your bride back, you're getting married, everyone's safe and sound…give us a smile, will you?"

Dale looked up at Chip's father and, with great effort, smiled one-half of one millimetre.

Foxglove decided to try to make him feel better, so she wrapped a slightly sore wing around his shoulder and asked him with a sensual voice, "So Cute Stuff, how's it feel to be the hero who just saved the day?"

Dale looked into infinity, and an infinite time later, he replied. "I feel…fine, Foxy…just…fine. I'm just so glad you're safe…"

He could not restrain himself anymore.

He embraced her like never before, kissed her like never before, looked away from her with the most horrified and pained eyes ever, and sobbed, "I'm-m-m…so…glad…you're…safe…!"

He abruptly released her and ran out the door.

"DALE!" squealed Foxglove, running after him.

Chip was about to run after them too, but a heavy paw rested on his shoulder.

He turned and looked at Pierre.

"Leave him, Chip," he said. "I think I know what's wrong, and only Dale can do…what he has to." The old chipmunk turned away and held his wife.

They both knew all too well what Dale was going through.


	11. Death of a Comedian

**DEATH OF A COMEDIAN**

Dale, meanwhile, in spite of his own exhaustion, had ran down the tree, dashed across a clearing, scaled another tree, and ran all the way out a very long limb. He then dropped to his face and cried like never before.

Foxglove followed, more scared than exhausted, and found him sobbing so uncontrollably that the branch was shaking in rhythm to the rodent's gasps. That was enough to bring tears to _her_ eyes.

Landing behind him, she padded closer and quietly asked, "Darling, what's wrong?"

Dale did not even turn around. He tried to reply between sobs, "Foxy…I…I…can't…marry…you!"

Foxglove's heart sank as horror swept through every quark of her being.

"W…what?" she sobbed in reply, nearly falling off the branch because of the shock.

"I…can't…marry…you…not now! Not…after…this!"

"D-Dale, why not?" she pleaded, incredulous of what she was hearing. "Fat Cat won't do this to me again!"

Dale looked up at her; his face was a total mess. "You…are…the most beautiful…sweetest…nicest…girl…ever…!"

Foxglove dropped to her knees beside him and held his shoulders. "Dale—"

"You…believed in me…" he turned away from her, as if he thought he was undeserving of her touch. "You…cared for me…you…loved me…more than anythin'…and…I…almost…killed you!"

The female reeled at that.

It was just plain nonsense!

"Dale, _what_ are you talking about? You rescued me and the others! _You saved the day!"_

"Foxy…I…failed you!" he insisted.

The bat was a mess now, too. And she couldn't even begin to think why Dale thought so horribly of himself.

A few distressing minutes of angst-filled sobbing later, Dale explained, "Foxy…I failed you. When I saw the note…Fat Cat left, I fainted…I passed out…when you needed me most…that's why…I…failed…I failed you…I should have been strong…gone with the others…they knew better…they knew I could…screw things up…again—"

"Dale, things were screwed up WITHOUT YOU!" she sobbed, feeling she was losing him. "And _YOU_ saved all of us! If you fainted, that's okay—"

_"NO, IT'S NOT!"_ he yelled at her face, frightening her even more. He then turned and looked at the ground, "I…loved you…I never wanted to hurt you…what if it happens…again…with you…with our cubs…!" Another bout of sobbing followed.

Foxglove futilely tried to find words of comfort at this onslaught of self-loathing, and practically of self-destruction, too, "Dale, no one saw this coming! You couldn't know what was gonna happen! And it was ALL MY FAULT! Please, please don't leave me!" She gripped his arms and sobbed in his shirt.

Dale shook his head, "Not yours…or Gadget's…mine…all my fault…for wantin' to…marry you…Foxy…if you had not chosen me…to fall in love with…and me…in love with you…Fat Cat would have never…done this to you…to us…we have lots of enemies…it could happen again…I would faint…the bad guys would get you…our cubs…you…they…we…may not be so…lucky…next time!"

The chipmunk then sat up and continued, still not looking at the bat he loved more than life itself. "I am—incon—inconsis—unstable…Gadget knew that…_that's_ why she…didn't choose me…and she was right…by not choosin' me…why did…why did…" He yelled at her once more, _"WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME?"_

Angered, she yelled right back, "_GADGET WAS A **FOOL** FOR NOT CHOOSING YOU!_ I chose you because you're the mother of _all_ luna moths! And it _wasn't_ your fault! This whole thing was _Fat Cat's_ doing! You may have fainted, but you recovered and came back with a vengeance!"

"…my fault…I…am…cod liver oil…always have been…always will…Chip knows that…the others know that…I…could have…messed up…again…even with Otis and Midge…I could…could have…_killed_ you…and the others…and me…please, Foxy…I love you…I adore you…more than _anythin'_…that's why I…have to let you go…just…call it off…the whole thing…just be friends…so you won't be in…danger…just drop the…whole thing…just…be…friends…"

Completely incredulous of what he was saying, Foxglove turned him around to face her, even though he would not look at her eyes, and cried, "Dale, please don't reject me! Not now! Please! I've been so happy since you asked me to marry you! And ever since I first met you my heart's been in my throat at the very idea that you might like me. Please don't do this to me because of what some villain tried to do to us! Please! There's no way I could live here anymore! I couldn't bear to see you and hear your voice and know that we'd never be anything but just friends, not now! I know you deserve someone better than me, but…but if you've brought me this far along just to break my heart at the last minute, then…then…_then I'll hunt Fat Cat down and feed myself to him!_ That's what I'll do! Because if I have to go back to the life I had before I met you then I might as well be dead!" And she spoke with such intensity that it sounded as if she really meant it.

Dale calmed down a bit, trying to suppress his sobbing, without much success. A minute later he replied, "I…am the one who doesn't deserve you…or Gadget…or anyone…and…you think…_your_ heart is breakin'?" He eyed her with anger.

Here, Foxglove realised that the hole in her chest very definitely matched Dale's.

"Figures…" he continued, "I am the biggest klutz in the universe…not only…do I break your heart…I totally pulverize mine…no klutz deserves someone like you…and…and you don't _have_ to go back to your old life, Foxy."

He then looked up into the dark of pre-dawn, as if looking for something.

"Can you hear them?" he asked softly.

"Hear who?"

"Them. The bats. Your people. Your kind. Don't go back to your old life. Start a new one. You said you never hung around other bats, so…go. Go and live with the other bats. Maybe you'll be happier. Maybe you'll find someone…who deserves you."

Foxglove almost had a heart attack and nearly fell off the branch. Half-covering her face with unspeakable horror, even more than what she felt at Fat Cat's, she would have screamed if Dale's request hadn't robbed her of speech.

After a minute of trying to word a response, she finally said, "Oh…no…Dale…no…no! No! NO! NO! _NO!_ No bat sounds the way you do! And I _have_ spent a little time with them, but no bat has what I saw and heard in you!"

"Otis seems like a nice guy," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, not looking at her face.

"For all we know Otis could be my brother!"

"Then GO!" Dale finally locked his eyes with Foxy's as he chattered with unspeakable pain. _"Find him!_ _Find_ your family! _Find_ your past! And…leave me. Leave the klutz. Leave the clown. Leave the comedian. Leave this life of danger. I…am hazardous to your health." He turned aside and commented, "You know, this wouldn't be so painful if we were still enemies."

She shook her head. "Dale, I'm not leaving you. Not now, not ever. Not after I met your parents. _You_ are my family. You and your parents, and the rest of the Rangers! You are my past, present and future!"

The rodent, unfortunately, had made up his mind. Looking at the sky again, he whispered, "Foxy, please. I am askin' you to take a break from danger…from _me_…and try _your_ life, even for a little bit. Please, you gave me a chance, you believed in me…and I failed you, as I have the others over and over…it has _always_ been my fault, I know that now. With all the love I have for you…I am now givin' _you_ a chance, _I_ am now believin' in you. Please, give _yourself_ a chance now. Find out what you have missed. You _may_ like it better over there…you may like _them_ better…better than me."

Foxglove was about to say something but Dale suddenly embraced her, looked into her eyes with pain and passion, and kissed her very deeply.

_You know, Dale has a one-track mind. And I love him for that, too. Once he sets out to do something, he does it, and nothing else…_

And she knew he had made up his one-track mind and was saying good-bye.

Finally, he whimpered, while rubbing his cheeks with the batmaid's, "Please, Foxy…just…go. I will miss you, and never forget you. I will keep your ring in case you come back. I…won't use the new room. But if you _do_ find someone else…drop me a line. I will feel better knowin' you are finally out of danger."

With eyes flashing, Foxglove stood and growled, "All right, if _that's_ what you want, _Mister_ Oakmont, then so be it! I will go, but ONLY as a favour to you! And I _will_ spend time with the bats, and I _will_ prove you wrong! And I _will_ come back, and _soon_, mind you! And the day I come back will be the day you will more than _FEEL_ just how much I love you!"

It was a very strange expression that showed through her eyes: anger, torment, grief, and ecstasy combined.

"You'd better have the room ready, because I _might_ come back by sunset!"

Dale slowly stood, looked into her eyes, and repeated, "So long, Foxy. I love you with all my heart. Please don't ever forget that."

"So long, Dale. You are the only one I have ever loved, or ever _will_ love. And I _will_ come back. Please don't ever forget that."

This time, _she_ embraced him and kissed him deeply. Looking into his damp eyes one more time, also with pain and passion, she echosounded him from top to bottom several times, jumped off the branch, and flew off into the night.

When she was well out of range, a certain heart-disintegrated chipmunk slumped to his knees on the branch, and whispered,

"Good-bye, my wife."

And somewhere high in the night sky, a certain heart-disintegrated bat replied,

"Good-bye, my beloved husband."

_For they both knew perfectly well that they would _never_ see each other again._

_

* * *

_

THE END / DAS ENDE / DIE EINDE / EINDE / EL FIN / O FIN / LE FIN / IL FINE / SFÂRŞIT / KONIEC / КОНЕЦ / BEIGAS / LOPPU / τέλος / סוף / TAMAT / LIAU LIAU / DANEH O' / WAN-LE / OWARIMASU / SLUTT / SLUT / UXUL / TLAMILIZTLI


	12. I Dream of the New Ranger

[Sad ending, don't you think? But don't worry; I won't leave you people with broken hearts. So, here's an _alternate_ ending to _my_ alternate ending.]

**ALTERNATE ENDING: I DREAM OF THE NEW RANGER**

The rodent had unfortunately made up his mind. Looking at the sky again, he whispered, "Foxy, please. I am askin' you to take a break from danger…from _me_…and try _your_ life, even for a little bit. Please, you gave me a chance, you believed in me…and I failed you, as I have the others over and over…it has _always_ been my fault, I know that now. With all the love I have for you…I am now givin' _you_ a chance, _I_ am now believin' in you. Please, give _yourself_ a chance now. Find out what you have missed. You _may_ like it better over there…you may like _them_ better…better than me."

Dale suddenly embraced her, looked into her eyes with pain and passion, and was about to kiss her, but she tore herself from his grasp, much to his surprise.

She stood and cried, "No, Dale, you're _not_ going to kiss me good-bye!" Looking at him, also with passion and torment, she pleaded, "Oh, Dale…Dale…_my_ Dale…my handsome…great-sounding Dale…I want so much to marry you, to make love to you, to have you make love to me, to have your cubs, to grow old with you and see our grandkids, don't…don't you want that?"

He stood and replied, "Foxy, I've…I've wanted to marry you and make love to you since October. But…" he looked down, "…it can't happen. Not if I put you in danger because of that."

She trembled with rage, "Then if you refuse…then you _have_ failed me! You may be the best crime-fighter in the world, but if you dump me because of this, then you have failed and Fat Cat has won! He got what he wanted! He wanted to make us miserable and he has done it!"

Dale looked at her and reeled at her last statement. His comeback was, "You just don't get it, do you? It's not only Fat Cat, it's Rat Capone, Professor Nimnul, and a hundred other bad guys! Tonight was just a _taste_ of what I would give you! Is that the life you want? Being with a klutz and in danger for the rest of your life?"

"If I have to be in danger for the rest of my life…then…then _so be it_, if that's what I have to take in order to be with _you_! It's an 'all-or-nothing' deal; did you think I didn't know that? And…I'd rather take it all…_all_ of you—danger included—than have nothing. Not even in trade for the other bats."

She paused with a sigh, and explained, "Dale, you're _not_ a klutz. As much as I've searched, I simply cannot find more clumsiness in you than in any of the other Rangers, including me. Everybody is clumsy at one point or another; it's just that Chip points it out every time it happens to you! But if you dump me now, then you _will_ be a klutz because you will have wasted the biggest chance of your life to be with someone who is willing to let you _do it_ with her anytime _you_ want. And…and if you _still_ say you're a klutz, then…then _so am I!_ If you failed me, then _I_ have failed you, the Rangers…the whole universe! If it was your fault, then it was mine, too! If you're cod liver oil, then I'm also from Norway! If you're a clown, then give me a rainbow wig!"

Calming down, she held his paws in her wings, and concluded softly, "Dale, my dear, sweet Dale, I want be _one_ with you, not just physically, but in _every_ way."

They looked at each other with exhausted silence, with the torment of eternal separation fading away, to their relief. Their eyes now displayed true love, and an _immense_ yearning for passion.

They both wanted _more_, all right.

It was all making sense now.

It was all adding up.

"Dale, I love you, and I want you, and everything that comes with you, be it good or bad, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, _with_ you, together, forever."

Dale looked at his almost ex-girlfriend with an expression of awe. "Foxy, do you _really_ love me that much?"

"Well, if _you_ love me so much that you're willing to let me go so I that may be safe from harm, then I guess _I_ can love you to the point that I am willing to be in danger, if it is with _you_."

Dale smiled at last, much to Foxglove's relief, "Gosh, Foxy, if that's the way you really feel…if you really do love me that much…then I say, let's go for it! And whatever danger either of us finds himself in, we'll have each other and we'll face it together!"

With that declaration, Foxy's tears ceased and her face glowed. Feeling too full of emotion to say anything, she grabbed Dale and gave him a hug such as she never had done before. Dale was only too happy to return it, seeing as how Foxy and he had separated themselves during the weeks of the engagement.

After an indeterminate time, though, Dale released her, and looked down, sadly again.

"Foxy, there's one more thing," he whispered with grief rising within him once more.

Foxglove looked at his handsome face one more time and whimpered, getting scared also once more. "What?"

"Foxy, I…I…have to apologize. When I read Fat Cat's note, I fainted on you and the Rangers. I…I should have been stronger than that. I should have gone with the others immediately. I'll…I'll try not to let it happen again. I—"

"Dale," she interrupted, touching his lips with her wingtip, "You never fainted on me."

Dale looked at her beautiful eyes with confusion for a moment, and insisted, "No, I did, really. You can ask the others. I didn't mean to, you know, it just happened—"

"Dale, _you_ never fainted on me." And she gave him a light kiss on his furry lips.

With his mind getting more confused by her latest statement and action, Dale tried once again to let her know his regret, "No, Foxy, really! I mean, I didn't _want_ to faint, I didn't even _know_ I fainted until I woke up, and…and…you don't know how awful I feel about—"

"Dale [kiss], _my_ Dale [kiss], my…_husband_…Dale [kiss], YOU _NEVER_ [kiss] ever [kiss] fainted on me. You _never_ have [kiss], and _never_ will [kiss], not on me, not on the Rangers, not on our cubs, not on our grandcubs, nobody, never [kiss]." Her voice was full of forgiveness, with just a slight touch of annoyance.

Dale looked at her for a while, and then, after seeing the expression on her eyes, her face, the way she held him, the way she _kissed_ him—

—he finally understood.

With that, there was nothing left for him to argue. So, all he could do now was hold her tight, and never let go.

He then considered that here, holding him, was a female who would love him regardless of _anything_, with the only request that he love her in return, and her only, forever. That she had chosen _him_, and chosen so quickly, and _fought_ for him, and _suffered_ because of him, and was willing to spend the rest of her life with him, and to become one with him, and him only, was _way_ beyond his scope of comprehension. Thus, all that was left for him to do was to return her love, as freely and powerfully as she gave it to him.

He would never understand _how_.

He would never understand _why_.

He would never understand _love_.

_But it sure felt good._

And _that_ he understood more than _perfectly_.

Tears flowed freely once more, only this time, they were tears of relief, tears of joy, tears of forgiveness, tears of acceptance, tears of peace, tears of love—

—of _true_ love.

And there was but one thing left to say:

"I love you, Miss Foxglove." That was the second time he called her "Miss", and it would most probably be the last.

"I love _you_, Mr. Oakmont." She nuzzled him softly.

After hugging and rubbing cheeks, they sat and cuddled silently in the joy of each other's company.

"So," she asked, as a new day was beginning, in more ways than one. "Is the wedding still on?"

"Is it still on?" he responded, much to her relief, "Hot d—!"

"Daaaaaaale?"

"Oops! Sorry, Foxy! I mean, that is a certitude!"

With that decision reached, they once again cuddled and quietly enjoyed the disappearing stars and the lightning bugs…


	13. Epilogue and Credits

**EPILOGUE: A FEW WORDS OF WISDOM**

[And we know the rest (a beautiful ceremony), but let me leave you off with one last addition:]

…Chip looked at her. "Why thank you, Foxy," he said, "that's very kind of you. Yes, I must confess that it is a bit hard on me right now, but I'll get used to it. Don't worry about me."

Foxglove smiled with relief. "Well, all the same," she said, "I just want you to know that Dale is your friend, same as always. And there's no reason why he can't sleep over with you occasionally when I'm out feeding. And remember, Chip, we're right down the hall, so please don't ever be afraid to come and knock if you need anything. Okay?"

Foxy's concern for her husband's friend was so touching that Chip could not help but smile. "Thanks, Foxy," he said, "I'll remember that."

She smiled and began to close the door and take her leave, when she paused and looked in again. "Chip? Do you want me to talk to Gadget for you?" she asked.

Chip sat up in bed at that. "Foxy," he said, "you are a genuinely good and kind person, did you know that?"

At that, she looked down and blushed.

"Still," he continued, "much as I appreciate the offer, I'd prefer not to take you up on it right now. But I might want to some day if you don't change your mind."

"Any time, Chip," she said, "just say the word. Oh, and by the way, if you're thinking about giving up, don't. Your case isn't hopeless. Not by a long shot. Believe me. And…and…Dale is _still_ your very best friend. He always will be. He _hasn't_ deserted you. And he never will. You're his 'big brother', and now that we're married, well, you are now _my_ big brother too, or, 'big brother-in-law', at least. And, I've always wanted one of those, besides a husband, you know."

Chip exclaimed, "Why, thank you! You _really_ brightened my day—er—night, Foxy—or should I say—'Little Sis'?"

"You bet, 'Big Bro'!" she giggled. Then she added, "Chip, you don't know how lucky you are to be Dale's best friend. He is more than any of us ever realised. And with him, _I_ now have a best friend, a husband, an _incredible_ lover," she blushed, "a last name, a big brother, and I have parents again." She sighed reflexively. "It's so hard for me to imagine that all of this…this completeness…almost didn't happen, not just during my kidnapping, but…afterwards, too…I always felt I was missing something, even when I was dating Dale, but now, with all that I got from him, I have never felt more complete in my life, _especially_ when Dale and I…well…you know…" she blushed again, and so did Chip. "He's the bestest Best Friend you could ever have. We're married, but _we_ are all still together…a family."

"And only _you_ could have made it the way it is now. You've made us see wonderful things in Dale, _and_ in each other. Dale is very lucky. I hope _I_ get lucky soon, too."

"Oh, you will. I know you will. Well…good night!"

"Good night, Foxy. And the same to Dale."

"I'll tell him," she said, and shut the door. Chip heard the eagerness in her retreating footsteps as she made her way back to her husband, to be complete once again. Dale was indeed fortunate to have such a good person as his life partner, he thought, and he himself was equally fortunate to have her as a member of his family.

To say that Chip felt better now would be a vast understatement. He dared to hope that maybe Foxglove was right; maybe his own happiness was just around the corner. Buoyed by these thoughts, he relaxed, closed his eyes, and was soon at last in a deep and peaceful sleep. So much so that he was unaware a few minutes later when his door again opened just a little, and another pair of eyes looked in on him, and another pair of lips smiled.

THE END / DAS ENDE / DIE EINDE / EINDE / EL FIN / O FIN / LE FIN / IL FINE / SFÂRŞIT / KONIEC / КОНЕЦ / BEIGAS / LOPPU / τέλος / סוף / TAMAT / LIAU LIAU / DANEH O' / WAN-LE / OWARIMASU / SLUTT / SLUT / UXUL / TLAMILIZTLI

* * *

**CREDITS**

Chip and Dale were created by Jack Hannah, I think.

Gadget Hackwrench, Monterey Jack, Zipper, and Fat Cat and his gang were created by Tad Stones and Kevin Hopps, I think.

Foxglove was created by Bruce Talkington, I think.

Tammy, Bink, and their mother were created by Tad Stones and Dev Ross, I think.

Midge was created by Sindy McKay and Larry Swerdlove, I think.

Camembert Kate was created by Bruce Reid Schaeffer, Ken Koonce, and David Wiemers, I think.

Cheddarhead Charlie was created by Mark Edens, I think.

Dale's line when he broke down inside that boot was written by Julia J. Roberts.

All characters are © Disney and I don't think I have their permission, except for:

Otis and Phinehas, who are © Roy Neal Grissom and I used them with _his_ permission.

Pierre and Dalee Oakmont and Chap and Nikoma Maplewood are © The J.A.M.

The name "Maplewood" was coined by Michael "Questy" Demcio.

The name "Oakmont" was coined by Michael "Questy" Demcio with collaboration from Jeff Pierce and Meghan Elizabeth Brunner.

Original casting by Olivia Miner.

Additional casting by The J.A.M. and Roy Neal Grissom.

Chip Maplewood is Tress MacNeille

Dale Oakmont is Corey Burton

Gadget Hackwrench is also Tress MacNeille

Monterey Jack is Jim Cummings

Zipper is also Corey Burton

Foxglove Oakmont is Deborah Walley

Fat Cat is also Jim Cummings

Mepps is Peter Cullen

Wart is also Jim Cummings

Mole is also Corey Burton

Snout is also Corey Burton

Pierre Oakmont is Frank Welker

Dalee Oakmont is B.J. Ward

Chap Maplewood is also Peter Cullen

Nikoma Maplewood is Noelle North

Cheddarhead Charlie is also Jim Cummings

Camembert Kate is Fran Ryan

Tammy is also Noelle North

Midge is also Tress MacNeille

Phinehas Maplewood is also Peter Cullen

Otis is also Corey Burton

Godzilla is © Tojo.

The Toyota jingle is © Toyota Motor Corporation.

The name "Skywalker" is © Lucasfilm, Ltd.

No copyright infringement is intended or implied. I did all this for the fun of it.

All of the characters, places, and events portrayed in this fanfic are fictitious. Any resemblance to any real persons, places, or events is unintentional and purely coincidental. Trust me on this one, guys. Even if you feel that I took some events from Real Life, trust me, I wrote them down LONG before they actually happened.

Dedicated to our beloved "Enduring Man-Child" Roy Neal Grissom, without whom this story would have never existed.

Deborah, this is also for you.

I wonder if someone out there is right now planning a tangent of _my_ tangent…

Just in case you're wondering, the various ways of saying "The End" are written in English, German, Afrikaans, Dutch, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Italian, Romanian, Polish, Russian, Latvian, Finnish, Greek, Hebrew, Malay, Hokkien, Seneca, Chinese, Japanese, Norwegian, Swedish, Mayan, and Nahuatl (Aztec), respectively.

¡Zacatepóngolas!

Until next time, remember:

I

AM

THE

J.A.M. (a.k.a. Numbuh _i_: "Just because I'm imaginary doesn't mean I don't exist")

Good evening.

[WARP!]


End file.
